white orchids with love.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

i watched mr bean with my family just now.
quite interesting,
quite funny,
quite touching.
zzz

it seems weird to describe it as touching,
but i really thought it was quite touching.

for example,
the scene where mr bean chased a chicken all the way just to get back his bus ticket,
but as usual,
ended up unsuccessfully.
but oh wells,
i just felt it was touching.

okay whatever.
im just crap.

and i watched teenage mutanat ninja turtles with yiqian today.
:S
weird choice.
but it was not bad.
yup.

was supposed to meet steph aka bovia *HAHAHA* tml.
but due to last min changes,
its postponed again. =x
havent seen her new hair.
rah~
havent seen her for ages too.

and was supposed to meet xian sometime ago,
but sadly,
she got smth on.

hmmm.
missing out on lots of things.

and my work is so boring to the extent that
i just wanna shout fuck and go and sleep and never ever wake up forevazxzxzxzx.
okay thats fierce.

whats more fierce is that,
i saw someone who is even fierce just now,
when i was at jubilee,
going to the cinema.

damn,
dont wanna mention her name her.
but let u guys guess abit,

okay.
SHE'S FAT.
REALLY FAT.
AND I KIND OF REALLY REALLY REALLY DISLIKE HER.
SHE'S RELATED TO BLACK CAT.
SHE'S RELATED TO A "GOOD" FRIEND OF MINE VERY VERY CLOSELY ~~AND SOMETIMES I USED TO GET SORE ABOUT IT.~~
SHE ALWAYS LOVE TO WEAR POLO TEES.

HAHAA.
obvious enough anot?
:)

thats damn unlucky la.
to think i would bump into her there.
what the hell.

and since im ranting about random nothings here,
let me continue to complain.

ive got this ex friend of mine,
okay her surname is ***,
yada yada whatever,
but she just broke up with her oh so important boyfriend.

i mean which boyfriend isnt impt to her?
or i should rather say which person of the opposite sex isnt impt to her?

yah anyways,
and so,
right now,
being heartbroken and all,
she's turning to god for help again.

im not saying its not good to turn to god.
i think its okay to turn to god for help.
but the way she does it,
i think its really gross.
she always say that she loves god and blah blah blah blah,
but i think thats all crap.
all she knows is to ask god to give her back her boyfriend,
which actually defeats the purpose of believing in god,
and puting your faith,
and follow god's word.
then you might as well go onto the streets and beg any ah mao or ah kao to give you your bf back.
or even better,
just ask any random guys to be your boyfriend.

but the way she does it,
makes me want to smack her 2303489283 times.

i dont know why,
but i think she is just misusing god,
and his name.
and that makes me uncomfortable with it. =x

though im not a christian and i know im in no position to meddle into other people's stuff,
but i just wanna rant~

ya and anyways,
she says stuff like,

"Father i know You've Your plans for me.but please,if being with him isnt part of Your plan,yould You please change Your plans slightly?remove whoever that You planned for my life,and replace it with him instead.God You know it.You know it.You know how i feel,You know how my life would go on.please?(: AMEN."

"its either God who created me to be so,or i chose to be so,and think like this."

"27 sounds kinda young,hard to believe.cause thats like 9yrs from now.which prob means aft my uni?"
(uni your head! im not even sure whether i can get to uni, what makes you think you can. =x
youre not even sure whether youre going ite or shatec, but they are about the same anyways. zzz)

another thing that made me really mad is this thing that she said,
"God,bring him back.will You?promise me.(: i know it takes time.i dont mind waiting.put me through the test,like i put You through the test."

i mean,
who is she to put GOD to the test?
i wanna beat her up.
zz.

and theres even random guy who tried to said random things to her,
things like,
"dear" and she replied with dear too.
things like,
"unknown says:love is just blind
unknown says:unless you look into my eyes"

"unknown says:but hey, if you turn the other cheek and look hard
unknown says:i'm there carrying a torch for you"

and more la.
dont wanna post too much,
cause ive alrdy posted quite alot.

and because of all these,
this ex good friend of mine,
got flamed in her tagboard.

zzz
but i didnt flamed her in the tagboard though,
even though i really dont mind doing so.
HAHAH.

so its a lesson learnt though.
dont ever try to be like her.
so,
im learning through other people's mistakes.
rah~

okay sorry if im mean.
:(

rah.

time to sleep.
im tired.
*yawns*

I MISS ALLL MY FRIENDS!
REALLY!

LURBESSSSS!
<33

yours truly;
whiteorchids.
12:21 AM

Sunday, March 18, 2007

@$#%#~!@ERA#@!V$R

RAH.

haven been blogging for so damn long.

ive done lots of things during this period of time.
ive went to genting,
and got back,
and got a new job.

and thats about it.
im working as a data entry clerk right now.
the pay's not bad,
but the working environment sucks.

i wouldnt say why now,
i guess i will just comment on my job after my job term ends.
if i comment now,
who knows,
what if they are able to source down my blog and track me down,
and terminate me,
and dont give me any pay? :(

suckers.

im just a no-life girl.
you know why?

5 days out of a week im working from 8.30am-5.2opm,
and ive got to wake up at 6.15am,
and only get to reach home at ard 7pm.
why?
because i work at tampines.
wtf.

and by the time i reach home,
im so dead tired to even drag my feet to the bathe room to bathe.
but i still bathe and ate anyway,
and then i fall asleep,
without even online-ing,
and without even checking out live journal.
rah~

so thats it about my life so far.

but its for the sake of money.
right?

:)
yadayada.
and im gonna miss my 2months hols next month.
cus im gonna have training at some place.
so got to earn some cash for my shopping trips out with my friends.

RAH.

so before i can get my pay,
i can only do heartland shopping.

heartland shopping,
anyone?

HAHAHA.

and AMK hub is opened.
most of the shops are operating now.
and i realised this pathetic fact.

when a place gets famous and lots of crowds,
i tell you,
even those damn beggars are so pathetic.
those damn beggars and blind performing artists and auntie tissuse sellers who originate from BISHAN,
moved to amk area -.-

at amk area,
before amk hub was opened,
i dont even see any beggars.
cause before amk hub is opened,
there isnt alot of crowd.

now the crowd comes in,
the beggars and everyone comes in.
aunites,
uncles,
shuai ges,
mei nus,
and those damn beggars,
and blind performing artists.
RAH~

and rmb the blind auntie who always sing hokkien songs damn loudly at bishan mrt?
she moved to amk hub.
and traumatised me greatly with the voice of hers.
AHHHHHHHH.

and i went to tpy's shuang lin temple today with my family.
i like.
and i saw this monk at my house market area after that.
and he looks so sad.
w/o shoes,
and begging for alms,
and not even one singaporean hlped him.
but from what i see,
he isnt a china man,
so highly possible he is an authentic monk.
zzz
so i gave him all the money that i have in my pocket. -.-
maybe around 2 bucks.
zzz.

ya thats about it.

say bye to no life geok.
RAH.
BYE:)

yours truly;
whiteorchids.
1:19 PM

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

ive come to realise that friendship really plays an important role in my life.

same as for family too.

but friendship,

in a way is different from family.

i guess all of us will understand that.

somehow,

ive come to realise also that im beginning to treasure and cherish some of the friendships around me.

some friends are getting more and more important to me.

and no doubt they play a big role in my world.

and some friends are meant to be kept,

but other friends, are better of as just friends.

but of cause,

if you ask me whether would i develop a true friendship with people like samuel tan than i would flatly say NO.

same for the mr siao langs that are staying near my house.

and i think friends influences my feelings alot more than family members do.

probably because family is more stable in the sense that they do not change.

family will always be family,

there is no denying.

and i love my family.

of cause,

my friends too.

but as much as i hate to say,

some friends come and go,

some friends remain.

i must be true to myself,

and true to the friends around me.

so when we are true to each other,

i believe this friendship will be able to move on.

honesty is probably the foundation for alot of things,

including friendship.

isnt it so?

i know sometimes i contradict myself every now and then,

but thats okay.

this is the shanggeok that you guys know me as.

rah~

other than i know that im quite pretty and clever and cute and ...

HAHA joking.

i believe that when you help people,

you'll feel good about helping people.

but of cause,

sometimes,

i must learn to say no at the right time too~

its okay to help,

but its not okay to help to the extent that you need to compromise on your values greatly.

small compromises are okay,

big ones,

then i'll have to consider.

i love the feeling of being there for other people,

this shows that people trust me to be there for them,

and i should not let their trust down.

and i also love the feeling of having people there for me.

i wouldnt say im feeling very happy right now,

and after sitting at the alighting point alone for quite some time after yiqian left,

dont ask me why i sat there alone,

i just did.

anyways,

looking at the passerbys,

ive straightened out some of my thinkings and mindset.

but i felt so alone at that moment.

i just dont feel like growing at.

remaining at 18 is enough for me.

i dont wish to grow up and go into the working world,

to face the harsh reality that there is no one for you to count on at work,

everyone are just co-workers.

not exactly friends.

co-workers that you can get along with better,

and co-workers that you cant get along with.

because when there are conflicts of interest,

people will do whatever it takes to make you fall.

thats so cruel.

i dont know if its true,

but at least i trust my mother.

this is what she told me.

maybe its quite true.

its alrdy starting to get visible.

remember last sem?

this irritating asshole tried to pull us down?

but,

we are still studying.

so things are not so serious.

but what if we step out into the society?

i dont know,

i better deal with things that are more urgent now.

but i just want to say,

i really feel old~

rah.

the age is coming on.

the fine lines appearing on my face.

am i thinking too much? =x

maybe i need packages.

ahaa.

and,

my feelings have been on a roller coaster ride recently.

probably because im so fed up with myself that i cant seem to find jobs.

and most of the interviews that ive went turned out to be either scam-like jobs or jobs with really bad offers.

we've went to a total of 4 to 5 job agencies,

and none has a job for us.

all they can say are

'' we will keep a lookout for suitable jobs for you. if there are suitable jobs for you we will contact you immediately.''

contact your head ah, just go and die la~

very angry. zz inefficient. rah~

and in addition,

some of the places are really ulu ulu,

so when deciding how to get to our destination,

we have different views and opinions,

and say hi to friction.

but im sorry qian,

cause im so emo everytime,

we always end up being emoz at each other.

dui bu qi~

come what may,

we will still be hpy and lty.

at least thats what i feel.

i dont know what sparked off me to write this kind of entry,

maybe im just being random,

or maybe there is this auntie friend who sent me a weird msg,

who scared me,

and inspired so many insights and views that i have.

and auntie,

if you like,

then go ahead,

aknowledge your feelings

follow your heart.

youve got nothing to lose anyway.

thats just my opinion.

with friends like them,

who still needs a boyfriend?

okay, i still need.

and just another random thing.

my brother is so lame.

he went to watch MVP qing ren on you tube -.-

what the hell.

okay anyways,

yup.

thats it.

tomorrow will be a beautiful day.

right?

bye~

yours truly;
whiteorchids.
10:06 PM

怎麼會想起你

眼框開始泛紅

歲月的皺紋

訴說著你辛苦了多久

從我們不會走路

到成年了以後

你一路陪伴著我

提醒我別犯錯

厚厚的繭

佈滿了你大大的手

厚厚的愛

照顧我們不曾減弱

後來的我

長大了懂事了以後

想對你說

阿嬤的溫柔總是給的太多

滿滿的餐桌怕我們吃不夠

阿嬤的笑容總是給的太多

一個擁抱就足夠

我怎麼能夠怎麼能夠

讓你難過

你是這麼的是這麼的

愛我疼我

我怎麼能夠怎麼能夠

讓你難過

你是這麼的是這麼的

愛我疼我

阿嬤的溫柔永遠溫暖著我......

<3

yours truly;
whiteorchids.
1:06 AM

Monday, March 05, 2007

just watched finish the last episode of hana kimi.
episode 15.

:)
finally i finished something.

the ending is pretttyy....
i dont like la~
but then..
hahaha.

anyways,
hope they will film hana kimi 2 soon:)

really.
cant wait to see them all acting together again:)

wuzun and ella looked so good together:)

wuzun,
dadong,
chord,
浩角翔起 - 浩子 and 阿翔，
tang yu zhe,
yang yang,
ah shen,
shen le,
julia,
and the most hilarious of all,
MEI TIAN LAO SHI:D

hahaha~

all i can say is,
this drama indeed got me very hooked.

zzxzxz.

yours truly;
whiteorchids.
2:44 AM

Saturday, March 03, 2007

i dont like the me that i am in right now.

i tried so hard to change things.
i tried so hard to make things better.
i tried so hard to change my mindset.
i tried so hard to smile.
i tried so hard to be true.
i tried so hard to deceive myself.
i tried so hard to have fun.

i tried so hard,
to do so many things. that i do not like.
to do so many things that i feel sick of.
to do so many things that is just so not me.

i dont understand.
why is this so hard?

when all and all fails,
i think im gonna fall too.
quietly,
silenty.

the me right now,
im feeling so ugly,
inside out.
totally.

maybe,
when this feeling overwhelmes me,
maybe,
i wouldnt be here.
maybe,
i look fine to you.
maybe,
im just mad inside.
maybe,
or i am just feeling emo.

i dont know.
damn.

RAH~

________

but nvm,
on a happier note,
huang yi da's album is out!
i really like him alot.
cause i find his songs really meaningful.
not because of the looks.
even though he is kinda cute~
yadayada.

random.

and here are some provocative questions that qian and steph and me discussed during the 4 days, 48 hours of our work,
counting taxis together.
and i think they are really quite provocative.
so here it goes,
and i shall start with probably in my opinion,
the most provocative of all,

IF YOU ARE BEING RAPED BY A MAN,
AND UNFORTUNATELY,
YOU GOT PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD,
WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ABORT IT OR GIVE BIRTH TO IT?

i chose to give birth to it,
after all,
its a life im talking about.

but qian and steph both beg to differ.
:S

WOULD YOU RATHER CHOOSE SOMEONE WHO IS POOR, BUT LOVES YOU,
OR SOMEONE WHO IS RICH,
BUT DO NOT LOVE YOU?

WOULD YOU RATHER BE RICH BUT UNHAPPY,
OR POOR BUT HAPPY?

yadayada.
still got lots more.
but i cant seem to rmb all of them at this point of time.
zz

but anyways,
chatting online with the peeps like qian mich xian and mol made me less emozxz.
rah.

hahaha.

whats the connection between rambutans and bananas and icecream and uncles?
uncles who sell bananas and rambutans flavoured ice cream.
ding dong ding dong~
its too funny to tell you.
i bet you cant figure out.
*winks to mol*
RAH.

power of friends.
zz

and sometimes,
i wonder why do stupid guys exist in this world?
why issit so that this guy can break up with lky for 4 years and still ask her back 4years later?
what the hell.
cannot be.
must be she is still in her own lala land.
she got excessive imagination power.
i mean,
who in the right mind,
would like a bad tempered yadayada girl back?
CANNOT BE.
even as her used to be friends in sec 2,
we also cant stand her,
who can stand her?

who knows,
im not trying to be mean,
maybe she pays her so called boyfriend one million bucks a day to be her bf.

zzz/

who know,
maybe gilbert will ask me back.
since come to think of it,
we've broken up for so long alrdy.

AHHAHHA.
NOT FUNNY.

im not harbouring that kind of thoughts anymore.
zz.
and even if he ask me back,
whahahaha.
then i will be damn happy.
cause i can turn him down flatly.
WHAHA.
who asked him to make me suffer last time?
=x

okay maybe i take joy in torturing people,
particularly him.

i mean,
another other normal girl who broke up with her bf sometimes would imagine her boyfriend asking her back again,
and then she will turn the offer down,
flatly,
sharply,
coooly,
as if she dont need him in her life forever.
WHAHAHh.

okay whatever.
and i was reading chord's blog just now,
he's better known as dashu in huayang,
and he wrote this very nice and touching song for his grandma.
awww.

reminds me of my grandma.
lurbes.

dont wanna elaborate.
show u guys the song and lyrics nxt time.
and im listening to huang yida's song now
very nice! :)

okay,
this entry is getting way too long.
oppps.
but im definitely feeling better now~

yays.

and i cant wait to wake up to a more beautiful day tml.
cause theres no school tml.
cause i can sleep til as late as i want tml,
without worrying that theres school tml,
without worrying that ive got exams/tests tml,
without worrying what clothes i need to wear tml,
without worrying whether am i repeating my clothes tml,
whoooo.
thats post-poly-current-holidaying life.

i like to be in my ultra comfy home clothes.
high.

OKAY BYE.
LURBES
:)

yours truly;
whiteorchids.
11:27 PM

ohhh.

im kinda sick :(

having a super duper blocked nose now.

and slight headache.

and sore throat.

rah~

okayy,

this week has been quite hectic for me.

ending of work from LTA.

rantically looking for jobs.
and a lil bit of WINDOW shopping here and there.

damn.
im still unable to find a job now.

actually ive got this offer as a telemarketer,
but in the end,

we didnt accept it.

i guess its pretty hard to clinch deals,

from what i heard from steph and yiqian's friends.

so i guess im pretty turned off now.

'' lai, tui ciao zhe ge gei wo.''

zzz

whatthehell.

but its okay,

theres pasar malam at bishan.

okay,

no link.

just let me be random.

sorry steph,

im afraid i cant meet u on monday eh :(

i think i got to find jobs.

i dunno.

rah~

or i meet u for a lil while and pass u the beads or smth?

ive done some work~

OH!

and i am going to genting on 10/03/07 to 12/03/07~!

hope my dad is able to take some time off his endless ongoing projects,

and spend some quality time with us :)

and before i go........

dont you think ella looks so prettttty and hot and lady and sexy and so-not-man here?
esp in that pair of high heels~!

and of cause,

wuzun is still as shuai:)

''GOU LE BU YAO ZAI TIAO LE!''

*winks to mich*

HAHA:)

so cute!:)

and thats right,

its RAIN:)

the vintage look with a tinge of ruggednesss.

MAN.

RAIN:)

high anot mol?

HAHAHA~

he's hot!

and he's like the perfect kind of guy.

ooh la la~

imagine him saying kam-sam-ha-mi-da to you.

hahaha=x

and...

heres your good friend ,
britney spears.

with her new bald head.

AHAHAH.

YADA YADA YADA.

OKAY BYE:D

WITH LOTSA LOVES!

<33

yours truly;
whiteorchids.
12:07 PM

Friday, March 02, 2007

emo emoz.

first,
it was the shoe spree.
wanted to buy 5pairs of shoes.
2 for my mama.
3 for myself.
rah~
but too late.

second,
bag spree.
maximum cap reached.
sianzxzxzx

爱情又怎样!

忘情samba舞！
不要孤独，
抛开烦恼和痛苦~

hahaa.
last sem.
last song.
last joke.
lol~
but im still missing it.
zxz.
no link.

but anyways,
BYE.

yours truly;
whiteorchids.
2:21 AM

Thursday, March 01, 2007

心跳乱了旋律。
连我子自己都搞不懂状况。

有时候的我感到孤单。
有时候的我感到幸福。
有时候的我感到悲哀。
有时候的我感到彷徨。
有时候的我感到快乐。
有时候的我感到庆幸。

有时候的我也感到无奈。

但是，
此时此刻的我，
都不知道我所感受到的感受是真麽样的一种心情。
我也不知到该如何说明这种特别的感觉，
嗨，
反正说了也是白说。

哎呀，
应该从何说起呢？
我也不清楚啊。

人应该要懂得知足吧。
我自己有时候会对自己想，
我应该感到很庆幸，
我可以有一份不错的工作做了。

但是，
人往往都是贪心的嘛。
人都是爱往高处爬。
不是吗？

虽然有一个不错的工作再等着我去做，
但是，
我总觉得，
如果我在坚持多一点点，
如果我在忍耐多一点点，
如果我在耐心地等候多一下下的话，
说不定就有更好的机会再等着我呢？

嗨，
我也不知道啦。
有时候，
还真是傻傻的。
还真是阿达阿达的。
这么空闲去想着一些有的没的。
我还真够幼稚嘛。

都已经要十八岁了，
还会有这种笨笨的想法-。-

有时有我又会对自己想，
人们常说，
‘十八姑娘一朵花’

但是，
我看我自己啊，
比较像是十八姑娘一束草多过于十八姑娘一朵花吧。

嗨，
我要等到几时才会变成一朵花呢?

感伤。

哈哈哈。
今天的我还真是无聊啊。
竟然用起了华语。

但这也和偿不是一件坏事啊！
这么久没有接触到我最喜欢的华文了，
是时候该用用它了啊~

哎哟，
这是华人吧？

好了，
废话说多了，
自己也感到有点疲倦了。
应该去睡觉了。

明天又是新的一天，

又一个好的开始，

大家加油加油哦！

就这样，
再见啦！
爱你们哦！

yours truly;
whiteorchids.
10:05 PM