i am so so sick of all this.

suddenly, i feel like giving in to all the pressure, and just die or maybe nua at home every single day.

i feel so tired.

maybe i should do something stupid and crazy since i am still young.
maybe i should bungee jump.

okay i am too hum to do that.
not funny at all.

i am so random now.

i feel so depressed.
i think its my pms.
must be.


so many things undone.
so many things unsolved.
so many things uncleared.

i dont know where to start from.
all i know is to nua at home everyday and sleep and wake up and hope that someone will accidentally deposit 5000bucks into my posb acct.
or i will hope that maybe money will drop from the sky.
or maybe i will strike lottery tml. okay i dont buy lottery. ggwgg.
or maybe tml when i go out, i will meet this guy who is quite well to do and then we will get together and one day when i graduate from poly he will propose to me and tell me he will provide for me for all my life and i shall stay at home and be happy and give birth to maybe 2 kids or so and take care of them all my life and my kids shall grow up to be good citizens of the society and find a well paid job and give me some money to lim kopi perhaps 500bucks every month or so and then i shall die like that, happy and contented with my life, with a good husband, fillal kids and grandchildren.


okay u may say that i am still living in my very own lalaland.
but then, when things are so chaotic in reality, its good to dream a lil.
its so destressing for me.
it makes me feell happier, and more hopeful.

yes i have v low ambitions.
i dont like competition.
i dont like to quarrel.
i dont like to have conflicts.
i dont like to be sad.
i dont like to be clever.
i just want to 傻傻过一生。(sha sha guo yi sheng).
i want to be oblivious to all the things that are happening right now, all the things that are changing.
i just want to be with my best friends and have fun everyday and forget about the stress that life brings.
i just want to stay at home and accompany my grandma everyday and talk to her and listen to her telling me her stories and encounters she had when she was young and it doesnt even matters to me that ive heard them countless of times. all it matters is that i still have time to be with her.
i dont even want to go to uni right now, maybe i am just contented being a lab technician in the future.

i think i really have v low ambitions.
say whatever you like, but i am happy with my ambitions this way, for now.
i am happy with a simple life like that.

if you ask me,
would you rather be rich but unhappy,
or poor but happy?

maybe i would like to be in the middle.
not too rich and not too poor. with alot of happiness, and maybe a lil of the unhappiness - so that i will be able to appreciate the happiness that i have.

oh man, i am so random.

maybe i will turn ambitious in the future, but thats another thing.
humans do change anyway.

but for now,
when i am feeling so low,
i just feel like not doing anything and sleep like there is no school tml:)
我最喜欢睡觉。


okay pardon my random ramblings in this post.
i think i am quite abnormal today.


KEKEZ.
bye :)